Reminder, bitch. Move your ass next time.

6:49

Because, I needed it

Because this should be a freaking reminder. Start early, you lazy ass. When I do coffee, it's just to stay awake. I'm suuuuuuuch a tea person... Dear tea, I didn't outcast you, it's just your caffeine-ity didn't serve me right, ain't strong enough. Consequently coffee didn't really help, I feel jitterish, or maybe it's happening already.

2500 words in 24 hours time. Nuff said, procrastination at it's best. Have I become so oblivious to the assignment weeks? So numbbb.

We Become What We Practice.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
—Aristotle

Source

I am.

"I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I."
—Sylvia Plath

I Confess.

Here's a confession.
I don't read. I don't read enough and I don't read as much as I would.
Let's just say it's been quite a while since I've finished ONE book.
Storybook, that is, magazines don't count.
I read unnecessary stuff at most. Well, beauty articles and irrelevant newsfeeds.
However, as I'm studying authorship which is slightly relevant to literature,
I find it enjoyable. I CONFESS (oh noes... if my classmates know this, they'll bloody laugh at me).
I find it intriguing, but it's one big blackhole of blur.

I wish I could read as often as I could. As now I'm quite oblivious to people, (I actually realize my social skills is deteriorating as of end of last year, was so depressed I couldn't talk without blabbering and slurring, well, that's a WHOLE other story). I would prefer to drown in books. Expand my thoughts and just be smart. I don't know. Authorship is taking a toll on me. It's silently and patiently changing me. I know. Random post because I saw this picture while researching on my assignment. Back to assignments T.T... I hate this, cause we're forced to research it. I CAN DO THIS!

Alicia

Biographical criticism?!

Never have I felt so lost. Actually no. Im always lost in my units but this is the ultimate hardest unit ever!

AUTHORSHIP

Why would one need to study this? What have I done to myself for this semester? Oh man... shit. How do I overcome this?!?! Two essays due on the same week and and in less than a week's time. Shit... oh man. Procrastination at it's finest, dare I say I'm panicking as if I'm chased by debts. That intense yo. HOW?!
May I be bless to go through this week with progression and healthily.

Self hating, never a good thing.

Eventhough family and people are so close in perimeters, does it make a deeper connection?
At times, loneliness really struck at the quietest moments. That quiet moment where feelings and thoughts were recycled and quickly flashed along. Though, we're all gonna die alone one day.
Attachment. Is it necessary then? By attaching to something/someone you place all your emotions and thoughts to it. Of course, in today's society everybody is attach to somebody in some way. Maybe looking forward for a class? Or maybe the need to go out to feel more "alive"?
What I'm trying to say is, we're all gonna be in this "space" where we will always be connected to ourselves, solely our own mind.

I've never learn to appreciate and try to be alone. I need to devote time for myself. I need to think about me, and not care about another as much as I should. Once you're in the zone of trying to be something, you'll lose yourself. I'm losing the sense of myself. I should love and respect myself more. I never admire nor liked myself, but I think this year it strikes me, how it is doubly important to care what my inner thoughts say rather than to listen what other says about my (inner) thoughts.

I have to come to terms that I want to love myself more. No, I need to.

Self-hate is not going anywhere.

Alicia

Cycle.

Trying to do something which you're very much not keen on, the other priorities are set aside to finish it as it's urgent rather than important. The constant day-dreaming which only makes you realized how absurd and far it is. All I do is get tired 24/7 and that I cannot lie. Nothing fascinates me. My mere existence... I sometimes question it too. Where's the ultimate goal in life and what's the purpose? To complete or taste the journey? The reality of reality. I'm sick, suffocating, but all you see is a mere tiny existence. What difference does it make? Often you ask, to live to the fullest or to live merely to stay alive? Dreams, where do it form, how do it form? Can it take me back to the time where everything is simple? But yet the reality is nothing is simple.

Self-help. Where's that part of me? Who, what, where, when, how. The questions we often asks. Answers never satisfy, and there's no right or wrong, I guess it's whether if it's satisfying or not.

Tired.


Alicia