Growing Up.

I'm scared, I'm scared of every single shit. But isn't that normal? I can't just please everybody but I just want peace. But people give faces and their true color shows. That just hits me hard. Treating others like gold but in return all you get is a slap. A slap verbally or emotionally straining your trust and kindness. So question is, this society is already screwed, and people screwing each other so how do we live?

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University intake coming, best friends going to a far place and just being hardworking ants, emotionally attached to your work and colleagues, starting to worry about your family, family gatherings which I hope would end nicely, the whole Lim clan is coming back from the UK. All these just makes me fall hard. Where do I belong and what the hell do I want? I, a millionth gazillion times said these already and able to see your face cringes at my whines but that's the fact, for now. I'm losing touch in myself lately too. Can I ever repay my parents and the money they invest for my education? Will I be able to make it? Can I ever EVER see their true happy faces?

I'm losing touch.

Losing my sanity and myself.

Alicia