Eventhough family and people are so close in perimeters, does it make a deeper connection?
At times, loneliness really struck at the quietest moments. That quiet moment where feelings and thoughts were recycled and quickly flashed along. Though, we're all gonna die alone one day.
Attachment. Is it necessary then? By attaching to something/someone you place all your emotions and thoughts to it. Of course, in today's society everybody is attach to somebody in some way. Maybe looking forward for a class? Or maybe the need to go out to feel more "alive"?
What I'm trying to say is, we're all gonna be in this "space" where we will always be connected to ourselves, solely our own mind.
I've never learn to appreciate and try to be alone. I need to devote time for myself. I need to think about me, and not care about another as much as I should. Once you're in the zone of trying to be something, you'll lose yourself. I'm losing the sense of myself. I should love and respect myself more. I never admire nor liked myself, but I think this year it strikes me, how it is doubly important to care what my inner thoughts say rather than to listen what other says about my (inner) thoughts.
I have to come to terms that I want to love myself more. No, I need to.
Self-hate is not going anywhere.
Alicia
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